I was thinking about how my husband and I arrived at the decision to have another child. I’m sure that a lot of couples like us have been asked a few times after having their first child when they plan to have another. And just like us they might’ve answered the same thing. We don’t know. We didn’t know that we wanted to have another baby. Not at first. And thinking about it now, it might have been because of time that’s why we arrived at a decision. And even after deciding, I’m still not sure about our decision to have another child.
I’ve heard a lot reasons from couples on why they decided to have or not to have a second child. And I think I’ve considered most of the same reasons in our own decision. One thing is for sure. Deciding to have another child was harder for us than deciding to have a child.
In all of the factors to consider in having another child, I think the most important for us was time. I felt like there’s just not enough time to delay thinking about it or waiting to have another child if ever we do want to have one.
But I wish we can have more time to spend with ONLY Light. Even if I say that nothing will change, having another child will definitely split and lessen our time with Light. And it makes me sad.
But I’m not getting any younger. I’d rather go through it all while I’m still young and able. So we decided that if we wanted to have another child, having him as early as possible would be the ideal. And we waited until Light turned two before trying. To me it just seemed to be the right age. Light will be turning three by the time the second child comes out. She can understand better and follow instructions well.
Some of the reasons why couples delay or decide to have another child is because they think they are ready or not yet ready. I keep thinking when will we ever be ready? Just like with getting “ready” for our first child, preparing for the second child will be more about adapting and making adjustments.
When it comes to Light though, I think it will help a lot if she is also ready for a new baby. But it’s not something that I worry about too much. I believe that the big change will happen to me and my husband, and it’s really up to us how well we will adapt.
Seeing Light interact with other kids and babies, though, I think Light might be ready now. She understands and she listens (although not all the time obviously). She can still be jealous and would ask for your attention, but I feel like she’s as ready as a 2-3 year old can be.
I didn’t think about it before but being mentally prepared and not only physically prepared for another baby should be something that a couple should consider. Imagine going through all the what ifs, and constantly worrying about your growing baby in your tummy for nine months. It can be emotionally and mentally tiring.
We also considered our financial situation. Well, it may not be the deciding factor, and probably not a factor that we really took into consideration, but I know that money should play a huge role in deciding to have another baby.
We may not be in the financial situation that we wanted right now but I think that we’ve saved enough that’s why we know that it wouldn’t be a problem should we decide to have another baby.
My father just told me the other day that whatever the gender may be with our second child, having two kids should be enough. He said that raising a child now is more expensive than before and we wouldn’t want to be struggling with finances raising a big family.
THE PERFECT SITUATION
I know a friend who is thinking twice about having another child because their family dynamic (her, her husband and their daughter) is so good now that bringing in a new baby into it might ruin the perfect situation they have going on.
This got me thinking too because I can’t say for sure that our situation right now is the perfect situation. I mean we still struggle balancing work, Light and the home, especially without a household help. Having another baby… it will be a bigger struggle. I know I can adapt to the change, but I also feel that it will take A LOT from me, especially if we still haven’t found help. My only hope is that the new baby will be as behaved as Light when she was a newborn.
Some couples have ideal families. They know if they want a big family or a small family. They already know how many kids they want. I think I wanted three kids before. But later on I realized that I’ll be okay with just one child.
I think aside from time, one other factor why I, personally, wanted to have another child is because I wanted Light to have someone no matter what happens. I know there’s this whole issue about wanting to have another child for the sake of the first child and the good and the bad sides of it, but to me, at the end of it all, I’ll still love both of them. It doesn’t matter what reasons I had for wanting the first, the second, the third child.
So now, after all these, we’re finally here. Again. We’re expecting our second child. It’s a scary but exciting moment. It’s definitely a different experience than my first pregnancy. 🙂