When people find out that I take care of my two kids (a toddler and an infant), without nanny or household help, they get surprised. And I get praises. They couldn’t believe, that even though I’m a SAHM, I could take care of them. That I have survived it without help. Well, it feels great to be praised and it gives me more strength to continue being a Supermom. But other than that, it’s nice to know that we, housewives or SAHMs or WAHMs, are appreciated and understood. That it doesn’t mean that even though we are at home everyday, that taking care of the child (children) should come easy. Because IT’S NOT!
Yes, I am a Supermom. I am owning it. But I am not perfect. I take care of the kids. I manage the household. I tidy up things. I fix the schedule. I have a business (albeit, small). But I wouldn’t be able to do all those things and still be sane without help. Yup, I do get help. And since having a second child, I have welcomed help. And there are those who don’t have help. Those who do all of it on their own. The single moms. The working moms. The super Supermoms.
So if you are wondering how I do it, how I ROCK being a Supermom, here are some tips for you.
TIP # 1: Get HELP
Being a Supermom doesn’t mean you should do it all on your own. It doesn’t mean because your husband is working that you should be the ONLY one working at home. Ask for help.
I used to think that it is my duty, my responsibility, being a wife and a mom, to take care of everything with regards to our home and our children. But IT IS NOT. Especially if you have no household help. I would probably lose my mind if my husband is not there to help out, or my family with their thoughtfulness of sending us food so I wouldn’t have to add cooking to my list of things to worry about. I call someone to do the laundry and clean our house twice a week. Of course there are still a ton of things needed to be done, but these little helps make a huge difference when it comes to our sanities, mommies.
Sometimes I’m still guilty of trying to do everything. But I realize that if i don’t ask for help, I get cranky and I resent my husband. I resent him for not doing more with regards to our kids. I shout and scold Light more often because I’m just so tired and I expect from her things that I shouldn’t be expecting a 3 year old to do. So get help. Ask for help. It won’t make you less of a mom or a wife.
Honestly, my husband and I are still struggling with our new set up. Who would’ve thought that having a new baby, that this tiny bundle of joy, could bring not only joy but a huge unexpected, sometimes beautiful, chaos into our lives? But everything will work out. They ALWAYS work out. 🙂
TIP # 2: Take advantage of NAP TIME
If by some miracle I was able to have both my kids down for nap time, I take advantage of that sweet miracle and do some work (work work or house work). I have to be a master of prioritizing my to do list though. In a good day I get to have 1.5 to 2 hours of alone time (not necessarily me time hehe) and I try to do as many as I can in those hours.
I have to ask myself, what’s more important for me? ME TIME? A new blog post? A clean house/chores done? Exercise? My online business? Money? What can wait? What’s easier to finish? The kids nap time for me is very crucial in becoming a Supermom.
What do I do if they don’t nap at the same time? What if their schedule gets mixed up? I MAKE DO. Light’s schedule is easy. I kind of know when I’ll be having that alone time. But Siris, the new addition to the family, well, he is a different case. But finally, though, after 8 months, I think I can already see a pattern with him. I think us mommies are very good at planning and organizing and seeing that “pattern”, and of course, we are masters of multi-tasking. 🙂
TIP # 3: Let them CRY
If I really need to do something, I just let them cry. Yup. Let. Them. Cry. I have learned to ignore my son’s crying, because sometimes, he just wouldn’t want to be put down. My thought has been, let me just do this really quickly so it’s done and out of the way. I think I even read or heard that letting babies cry does something good to their lungs. There you go. 🙂
I don’t think about how heartbreaking they look when they cry and call for you. I don’t think about them feeling neglected. None of that stuff. I think about the positive things haha. Light can learn about being patient and about not getting what she wants all the time. Siris can learn to soothe himself instead of being carried all the time. Positive things.
TIP # 4: Get your ME TIME
It may still be a little too much for me to get a whole day of me time, but I do get myself a few minutes of time for myself everyday, or every other day. Because sometimes, I just want to relax. Especially on a not so good day. So, yes, I let Light watch. I ignore Siris. I let them be as I check Facebook and waste my me time away. A happy mom is a happy family. Or something like that. 🙂