Looking back when our pregnancy was just starting, I could remember using Google to browse around to find tips.
When guys type in “Pregnancy Tips for Men” on Google, they usually think of the following things:
1. They are looking for tips to make the pregnancy phase easier
2. How they can get their girl pregnant
3. How they can get another man pregnant (ala Arnold)
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m one of those that chose #1.
So for those reading this that chose #2 and #3, then you might not want to continue reading.
Currently, we are at our 3rd trimester. Light will be coming out soon and we can’t wait!
It has been pretty hard to focus on work though. A lot of things are going on right now and running a startup is hard enough on it’s own.
Being through most of the pregnancy stage, I’ve identified some things that made the pregnancy phase easy.
9 Pregnancy Tips for Men
(…That Actually Care)
1. Go to the Doctor with Her
Yup, you need to make time. You can’t let her commute or let her drive alone each time she has to go for the regular checkup.
I know we’re all busy. We have to work and make money since it’s for their sake but I would advice to schedule a date ahead of time, probably on a weekend. Then you won’t have any excuse.
It’s great to be there for her, listen to the heartbeat, hear about things that she’d normally forget to tell you (like some painful areas or how the Iron supplements are…you get the picture) – and you can remind her of what the doc says.
Say the doc tells her “No CAKES” then it means “NO CAKES!” It’s your duty to watch her diet. It will be for their own good!
Our doctor, Solema Granados Rivera, has made our transition a very easy one and I am thankful for that. (That’s a plug, I expect a discount! Can someone please tell her about this LOL) – BTW, it also helps if you have a way to record the data, like an electronic health record (EHR/EMR) as that helps you and your doctor track everything.
2. Measurement
Each time you go to the doctor, they check blood pressure and record the weight.
I’d advice that you go one step further. Grab a tape measure and start measuring different parts of her body.
Why? It’s because some women will gain more than the others. Some will very easily show that they gained weight, some won’t even show how they gained 23 lbs in 5 months of pregnancy.
Normal weight gain during the pregnancy phase is 25-30 lbs. I know that there are a lot of variables, like bloating/water retention from the previous day’s salty food fest, poop (LOL), increased muscle weight or even a “birthday” cheat day which can just be temporary weight which is why it’s all the more important that you keep tab.
It’s for your own peace of mind. You don’t want your wife to go out of control and gain too much weight, no matter what Lady Gaga says.
Here’s a Google Doc for you. You can easily integrate it into my Trello Pregnancy Template.
3. Keep Yo’ Ass Out Of Trouble
Please. Just stay out of trouble for the whole pregnancy phase. It’s very easy to do. Stay at home. Get the boys to come over. Work when you are at home to keep yourself busy. Read. Watch Honest Trailers. Play some games. Watch some movies. The 9 months will just fly by like it was nothing.
She already has a lot of things going on. You don’t want to raise her cortisol level (from stress) as it’s REALLY bad for the baby.
4. Tracking
Read my post about Trello. When you are apart most of the day due to work, you can coordinate plans using the board I created. You can customise it to your own liking. You can use it to set alarms, tell you when you need to buy medicine and so on.
For your wives, you might want to suggest the Glow Nurture app or My Baby Center to be a supplement app for their daily logs.
Oh, and by the way, PLEASE Remind Her to Count Kicks
My Baby Center has a “Kick Tracker” tool which will give you more points in the peace-of-mind department. No need to worry if baby is active and doing well. 🙂
5. Make Time Before the 3rd Trimester
Before the final stretch, you need to set plans and make the most of it. The 3rd trimester will be harder for her when you want to go on long road trips. Many things will be uncomfortable for her and her shortness of breath will be more obvious.
So plan ahead and have fun!
6. Exercise!
The both of you will need to be in shape. Having a new born will take a toll on your body so keep it in top condition.
Eat properly, exercise regularly. It will keep the backpain away and you’ll be able to cope with those sleepless nights.
For your wife, try to recommend these exercises.
7. Listen to Audiobooks When Driving/During Commute
You only have a few hours in a day and you waste time traveling to work and then back home.
Make the most of it by listening to audiobooks. Lots of them on Amazon.
8. Finish Your Pending Projects
You have to finish your work as soon as possible. No more wasting time and being complacent. Sit your butt down and get things done.
You will have more time to spend with your wife and that will make it better for her. Improve her mood = less emotional crap for you to deal with!
One more thing, limit your work hours. I used to work 16-18 hours in a day! I’ve cut it down to a strict 8 hour time frame. Whatever I finish within those hours SHOULD be good enough so be sure to start the day right and with a plan.
Productivity Tip: You might want to try out the Pomodoro Technique. Chris Winfield did a great blog post on how he uses it for his own tasks. I’ll probably share mine in the future (I currently use Pomodoro+Trello)
9. Listen to Other Dads
Talk to other dads! Or at least, listen to them.
I usually ignore HuffPo posts but this one from Aaron Gouveia raised a LOT of great points that I’m not even “technically” allowed to mention here on my baby’s blog. (Be sure to read his blog, Daddy Files – probably the most entertaining daddy blog out there.)
Bruce Sallan hosts #DadChat (It’s a TwitterChat. Just type the hashtag in the search box when you are on Twitter) each week and they talk about great stuff. I’d highly recommend that you take part and join in. You’d get a lot of tips, especially for after pregnancy!
So if you’re a dad, join Twitter and join #DadChat
So for all the soon to be dads out there, those are my tips for you. They have made my transition easy and I’ve barely been on the receiving end of a pregnancy induced emotional burst. Follow the things mentioned above and you’ll enjoy the pregnancy stage rather than hate it.
How about you? What are your tips for the other dads? I’d love to hear from you and I’m sure a lot of other dads will find them useful.
Papa
Dennis,
I’m cracking up. I think it’s funny that the thing you said before “Stay Out of Trouble” was essentially, “Measure your wife’s body parts so she doesn’t get too fat!” Your wife must be nicer than me, because in my house that’s the DEFINITION of trouble!
I think it’s cool that you’re clearly going to be such an involved Dad. My husband has always been 100% devoted to our family and I could never survive the parenthood of our three boys without him.
Seeya later!
Hi Brittany!
I’ve been getting tweets and emails about that part. I think I should just omit that before I DO get someone into trouble. LOL
Thanks for dropping by! My wife’s probably busy reading your blog now!
My first husband and I were both 18 when we had our first child. We did not know how to be paentrs or how to be married . I reckon its awesome that you are even inquiring about what you should do! It shows you are mature enough to know how vital having a child is. I read a lot of parenting or baby magazines. Your wife might be doing this already. For guys is harder to read these magazines since they seem more geered for women. Many people will give you and your wife information on how to raise your child and what to do from how the baby should be fed (from breasfeeding to bottle) to where and when the baby should take a nap. You as paentrs will feel what is right its your life and your child. I have 5 children. I have received information from everybody- my paentrs, my friends, doctors, nurses, and strangers. I have made some mistakes and learned the hard way- but all of my children are healthy and are excellent kids. What is vital is this- if your wife chooses to breastfeed, it is vital you support her in this choice. I have breastfed and bottle fed my kids- they all turned all fine in any case of my feeding choice. She needs to eat healthy because if she breastfeeds, the baby takes nourishment from her- so she needs to have enough for the baby and herself. If you guys don’t agree on things- the stress will make issues between you and it will affect the baby since the baby can sense it in your voices and body languages (when you hold the baby).When the baby sleeps- do not place the baby down on his/her stomach because its one of the main leading causes of SIDS (I am sure there is other factors-but don’t mess with it). I use to have the babies take a nap with me because its what worked for me. I never squished my babies and we both got excellent take a nap. In the middle of the night- it was simpler to nurse the baby. People will say the baby will never leave your bed if you place them to take a nap with you . Bull crap- when they turned 1 to 1-1/2 yrs ancient- I went them to their own bed in my room and then eventually to their own room. By the time they were 2 they were in their own room.Some people will tell you to place more clothes on the baby while others will tell you to place less- whatever keeps your baby pleased and you pleased is the right amount of clothes. If you take the baby to the doctor and the babies’ health is on track- then whatever you are doing is excellent! Don’t tell the doctor the baby sleeps with you, don’t tell the doctor the baby is diminishing asleep with a bottle in her/his mouth! They will lecture you too. Again- if they give the baby a check up and everything is ok- then you are doing fantastic!About 2 weeks before she is due make sure you guys have what you need for the sickbay, for the drive home, and for the first week at home. Its harder to have to run out when the baby is home to get things you forgot. For the sickbay-your wife will need most of the things since the sickbay will provide diapers and such. She will need her toothbrush, hairbursh, confortable clothes to leave the sickbay with (no jeans), and lipstick or chapstick to help her feel herself (or whatever makeup she wears). For the ride home- car seat for the baby. For the house all the baby needs that I am sure your wife and you have read all about- but you need things for yourselves also because you will be stressed. Make sure you guys have bounty of excellent drinks (not alcohol-yet!) to keep hydrated. Precooked food so no one has to worry about making dinner. Try to not have too many people come to your house the first few days- or at least make it the first or second day then no one for a week. Get lots of take a nap when ever you can. The laundry and the dishes will and can wait- you guys need to realize the priority has changed- you guys need to figure out what works for your family so that you are all on a routine before you can conitnue living your life as before. It usually takes about a week to figure out the baby’s schedule. I never woke the baby up after 3 hours to feed him/her when the baby woke up- I took care of them. Your wife’s hormones are still out of wack. So be patient and appreciative. It will not last forever. You guys will be faced with some chanleges in your relationships as well- your like for one another and your baby is your strong hold- don’t loose track of that in any case of anything else. Delight in everything even the hard parts. The throwing up, the diaper rashes (let the baby air out without diapers on a basinet so their butt can dry up and heal), the crying where you just can’t figure out why they are crying, and everything else. Then there will be the smiles (or is it gas!? LOL) the holding your finger, the cooing, etc.Oh yeah the crying- be patient! There is nothing incorrect with you or your wife putting the baby in the crib securely (nothing else in it) and just going into the bathroom or another room for 5 minutes to just take a deep breath before you pick up the baby agai