This is my first blog post here. So I have to introduce myself first.
My name is Dennis and I am a soon-to-be father. Yup, that’s it.
What can you really post about on a blog like this? All we can think of is sharing our experiences. I mean, isn’t that what blogging is really about? It’s always about the story, how you can touch the person on the other side. How they can make use of that story in their own lives.
You might be asking:
“You dumbass, shouldn’t you have thought about what the blog was for before starting it?”
My response is, that’s right, I should have thought about it better but honestly, all I wanted was to prepare this site and let it gain a bit of exposure so next time, when our kid takes over, getting an audience for what the blog will inevitably be, will be much, much easier.
Now that that’s out of the way…
A Husband’s First Trimester
I bought all sorts of books to read like “The Expectant Father Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be” and “What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding” but to be perfectly honest, I didn’t even get through chapter 2. Note: For what’s it worth, they were both awesome from what I’ve read, also learned to tell my wife to stay away from fish. It’s not you Mr. Author, it’s me.
Anyway, what an irresponsible prick of a husband I am.
I know but I had other responsibilities like working and improving the business. I tried to take some time off to read, but I couldn’t force myself. I preferred audiobooks but I didn’t find any of the current ones to be enticing.
Thank God, Ceena wasn’t affected by morning sickness. She made it very easy for this dumbass. Secretly, I do like to think that I “winged it” with no help from her.
So far, the first trimester has been a breeze barring her spotting incident. So I came up with some first hand tips that I picked up for “Dads To Be” that prefer to wing it, like me.
5 Simple First Trimester Tips For Dads-To-Be
1. Stay Away From Crowded Areas with Lots of Kids and Old People
Damn, supermarkets, malls, cinema. Oh, the blockbuster movies you’ll miss. You need to stay away from these places because:
- You won’t notice that you’ve walked far too long. It could cause spotting.
- You are increasing the chances of delinquent 5 year olds to bump into your wife. If something happens, YOU CAN’T BLAME THE KID. YOU CAN’T WIN. YOU WILL ALWAYS LOSE.
- Old people have crazy ass diseases. Your wife will have a weak immune system at this stage, which makes it easy for her to get infected.
- For exercise? Yes you can walk around, but there are also safe workouts specifically for pregnant women. My take? stay away until after the first trimester.
- Oh, if you have a horny dog like ours, keep him away. Your wife might trip.
2. Limit Access to the Stairs and Stay Away from Bumpy Long Drives
Gravity is against you. Try to limit her access to the stairs. She won’t need it really if you prepared everything ahead of time. If the normally stays at home and our kitchen is down stairs, make sure the has plenty of snacks and a couple prepped meals until you get back. Or she can go down and prepare but she should stay there for a longer duration. Adjust depending on your situation.
We also had our daily 1 hour drive to work. The roads here in the Philippines are pathetic so everywhere you go is a bumpy ride. The civil engineers of this country are capable of building great roads so I wonder who made these f’d up roads.
Anyway, we took these for granted and my wife experienced a spotting period. She had to stay home for a week. It was scary, but I bet she enjoyed it, staying at home and not working.
3. Relearn the Food Pyramid
Your goal is NOT to let her gain too much weight as most of the weight will come up after the first trimester. No, a pea sized baby is not 5 pounds.
Contrary to what you will hear, you SHOULDN’T let your wife “let go” and eat whatever she wants just because she wants to.
Yes, she will try to vilify you and make the people around you hate on you for not letting her finish that 10-inch chocolate marble cake stuffed with mousse and chocolate sauce topped with Oreo, but it’s for the “greater good” so just man up. Your doctor will at least side with you.
Learn the food pyramid again, like you did back in school. Leafy, green vegetables are the best but make sure they are clean. Eggs are awesome and as for milk, a glass or two a day should be more than enough, NOT 5.
Water – keep her hydrated. She will hate you because they already pee often at this stage but you need to remind her to drink water.
I also thought about utilizing kefir but I opted to not try it.
4. Don’t Rely On Your Wife To Always Remember Her Vitamins and Supplements
You have your iPhone/Blackberry/Android/Nokia/Tablet/Mac/Windows/Google Calendar/Trello for a reason.
One last tip: Space out the times of when she drinks it. Don’t drink all the supplements at the same time. Separate them throughout the day. If she is already doing it, ask her to listen to her body. Does she feel pain anywhere? Like a burning sensation or flatulence-like feeling? Then space the meds out. She’ll feel better and thank you, you awesome husband, you.
5. Make it Look Like You Care
Yes, this is a PRO TIP. It will save you a lot of time and you will also get rewarded in different ways.
Your wife is like a ticking bomb at this point, emotionally. It’s a rollercoaster ride for sure. You being the man that you are, won’t notice and will act like your normal, uncaring self.
So if you are like me and HATE the hassles and dramas in life, internalize that you need to show that you care.
Tell and train yourself to react to whatever she does. Let her feel great, let her feel that you are indeed an excited father, that you’d do whatever it takes for her.
Simple things like holding her hand and being a gentleman when crossing the street. Reminding her to walk slowly and not jump. Pushing away pesky brats that want to get near her tummy area. Whatever it takes.
You’ll be praised and you will be respected. Do note that whatever you do will never be enough to stop her from vilifying you again when you stop her from devouring those Cheetos and Cheese Cakes.
There you have it. You should easily breeze through your first trimester with almost no trouble.
Minimize chances for spotting. Improve chances for natural birth. No nagging from the wife. Look good infront of other people.
Life as a husband/father is awesome but seriously, please take care of your wife. The first trimester is a delicate phase.
You shouldn’t take it lightly, instead, be strict, strict enough not to get the pan thrown at you.
True, some of the stuff above MIGHT not be what you’d advice so feel free to leave your comments below so other people can learn from your experience.