There is no wrong choice. I should put it out there before I forget. Whether you plan to be a work at home mom, a stay at home mom or a work outside the home mom, in the end we all “work”. As Loiuse from Baby Gates Down, writes it, “Every parent works. No matter what choices we make… We all work. And we all make the choices that are best for our families.”
Louise also mentioned that perhaps one of the reasons why she ended up going back to work (outside the home), was because of her “nurture”, her nurture from her mom being a stay at home mom and how she was taught to be career-oriented. For me though, I didn’t quite have the same outcome.
My mom was and still is a work outside the home mom. Growing up I remember she never really paid much attention to PTAs and our school stuff. She helped with some homeworks and studies, but most of the time she just lets us be. We turned out okay. Being nurtured that way, though, made me want to be more involved with my child’s life. At the same time, I also admired how she was able to work outside the home and still able to raise four kids. And that made me want to continue working outside the home even after I give birth. The ideal, of course, is to become a WAHM (Work At Home Mom).
Don’t all mothers wish they could stay at home and still make money! I’m “trying” to do that right now and I tell you, I have yet to make real money. A good chunk of my day is spent in feeding, changing, playing with Light, laundry and cleaning the house. I could only squeeze maybe 2-3 hours of work on a good day.
It’s easier to decide on working outside the home here in the Philippines. You can get a nanny and have her help in taking care of the baby. But there are disadvantages to that as well. Usually, the child ends up being closer to the “yaya” than the parents. I definitely don’t want that. So, no yaya for us. No helper, too.
I’ve put this topic off of our “discussion table” when I was still pregnant. Mainly because my husband and I couldn’t decide how to proceed with our lives once Light is here. We needed to see first how we fair with a newborn baby before deciding on anything when it comes to me going back to work. But, there’s really not much option for us without another person to help out. It’s just me and my husband, and with my husband going to work, I’m the one now taking care of Light and the house. The. Whole. Day.
It’s been four and a half months now. I thought I’d be out of my mind with boredom. When I was pregnant I’ve prepared a list of things that I could do when I find myself with some free time. I thought I’d have more time to do things now that I’m at home. But the sun has already set, my husband back from work, and I still find myself out of time with completing my daily to do list. Not to mention so dead tired at the end of the day. What happened?!?!
It would have been nice to have a profession I could earn money from. My friend Char of Yellow Yum is a beauty/lifestyle/mommy blogger and a make-up artist. She has a service to offer that doesn’t confine her to one place. Her time is free and she can still focus on her baby (oops, toddler now). I’m more of the going to the office type of worker. The 9-5 job. I don’t have a service that I can offer or earn money from. I think it’s one the reasons why choosing the work at home option is still not that okay for me. It won’t be the same as having a sure salary every month. I think the ideal thing for me would be to have a clean working environment where I can bring Light with me so I can work and take care of her. Wait, what about my laundry?!?! Hmm….
Anyway, I ended up staying at home. I would like to think that I’m a work at home mom, handling a few of our e-commerce sites, but most of my time are still used up on household chores (laundry!!!!) and taking care of Light. Not in that order, obviously. 🙂
I’m glad you worked through your decision and landed on something that works for you. I loved my time home with my two girls and every now and again try to think of ways I could make it work to have more time home with them now – maybe in a few years – but it just isn’t our current reality.
I read the part about how your mom working outside the home influenced your decision to stay home. I truly wonder how much of this – situation permitting – ends up being influenced by that.
Glad to have found you – all the best!
Hi Louise! I think the part in me that wanted to make my own money was greatly influenced by the fact that my mom kept on working even after having kids. It’s not about going back to work but more of earning my own money, now that I think about it. I want to be there in every milestone my baby does. I don’t want to miss out on her life. But I have to make sure that I also do something to earn money. Does that make sense? Haha
Minnie Jumaquio says
Hi Ceena! i came accross your website and found you topics very much interesting and just like many mommies out there we were faced with alot of similar cross roads. So by blogging you might be helping moms more than you think! So keep on sharing your learnings! its very insightful 🙂 Actually, i shared your blog about your 2nd trimester journey
https://www.lightong.com/second-trimester-pregnancy/ and you know what many hits happened already because they can relate to your story.
Well about your concerns about to be a stay home mom or not, my take on this is to always find where you will find peace. What I mean to say is you have to be happy and contented with your decision (whatever it is). Im glad youre taking your time with your baby, they do grow up fast and i assure you… more time will be gobbled up by your little one. hahahaha!
So for the meantime, while you sort out your wants, needs and overall goals… Just dont forget breath and take everyday as it comes. Enjoy mommyhood!
PS Thank you for the mention our my product in one of your entries 🙂
Thank you for the kind words and the great advice Minnie. 🙂 You’re right. Sometimes I forget to relax and enjoy spending time with Light with all the chores and to-do list (home and work related). They do grow up so fast I can’t imagine she’s now 8 months old!
I just found out about your blog and it’s really great! I like the way you write, it’s entertaining! I’m in my second trimester and enjoy reading what you have gone through during your pregnancy and all the advice you give! Keep up the good work :))
Thanks Anzelika! I really appreciate it. 🙂 Congratulations on your pregnancy and I’m excited for you!