Today, I had the rudest and most irritating reaction from someone who found out we are having a girl. I was expecting something totally inappropriate and bad-mannered from this person so I silently told myself to ignore whatever he was going to react or say after he asked us if we already know the baby’s gender. But I guess the protective mother instinct in me kicked in that I couldn’t let it go. I had to control myself not to tell him off and calm myself before I share this horrible experience.
He was an old, ill-mannered man. The old me would’ve cursed him and wished him bad things. But I have to think of our baby now, and the examples I will be setting for her. There are just people who are rude and have lived their lives without proper manners, and because they are old, it is probably too late for them to change. So, I’ll just leave it at that.
His reaction when we told him we are having a girl was to laugh. It wasn’t just a laugh. It was a laugh with underlying, bad meaning behind it. Then he said it was ok and that I was still young, impressing that I can still bear another child (a son) because a girl is not enough.
What’s wrong with having a girl, just a girl, anyway?
I understand how having a boy, specially a first born son, is important in some Chinese families. I, too, had the same struggle before. Dennis and I have discussed it. I wanted a boy as my first born and would’ve said “one and done”. But finding out that we are having a girl, I suddenly felt the need to give having another child a thought. But why? I realized that there really is no good reason behind it.
I don’t know if this notion of having a son is only common in Chinese families. I don’t want to justify and explain why having a girl is just as important and even better than having a boy. A child, no matter what the gender, is a blessing. Most couples have a hard time conceiving. We are blessed to have been given a baby on our first try, at a time that we wanted her.
To my baby Light, I am hoping that by the time you are old enough to know people, we have already equipped you with the right skills to handle these kinds of people. I’d like to wish that by that time, these people no longer exist. But I also don’t want to shield you from these things because these things are a part of life, and I want you to a have a full life, with the good and bad.